totally exhausted

Friday 4:45 am--leave for wedding 10 hours away by car
drive, listen to insipid children's literature, find iPod in pocket, smile, escape the car for an hour, arrive in Sibling City, eat cheesesteak, visit R's alma mater, take kids to see Famous Cracked Bell,
drive to BIL's house, socialize, socialize, socialize
Friday 10:00 pm--put kids to bed

Saturday 11:00 am--go to BIL's house for wedding
Sunday 2:30 am--finally go to bed
Sunday 8:45 am--leave for home 10 hours by car
Sunday 7:45 pm--finally arrive home

notes from the road

Being in an environment where my values are not the norm and the way we live is foreign is no longer stressing me out and making me question where I stand. Rather, I am feeling motivated to strengthen my values and increase the visibility of the changes we have made.

For instance, I am no longer embarrassed to collect our cans and bottles for recycling at home. That act had a positive outcome as I learned that my BIL and soon-to-be SIL actually do recycle some stuff sometimes.

It is also interesting to note how the body adapts to environmental changes. M woke up this morning with a bloody nose because the heat is set at 72 here. It was incredibly stifling.

Finally, my relationship with food is slowly changing during this trip. I was not willing to continue to eat for taste even when my body says stop. This has always been a HUGE problem for me. I was also willing to wait and experience the signs of hunger in order to eat what I really wanted, not what was immediately available.

green on the road

super simple tips for staying green on the road...

bring a reusable cup--sigg, kleen kanteen, or otherwise.
it can be filled up with water, soda, or anything else.

keep a bag in the trunk for recyclables. We are traveling to a state with no bottle/can returns. the amount of waste is staggering. I am walking around my in-laws collecting bottles and cans to bring home and recycle. I can't return them for $.10 (that's illegal), but I can put them out on the curb.

keep cloth napkins in the car.

slow down. the gas savings are significant. (I'll admit this is the hardest one to do. It is soooo tempting to want to get there..and FAST! Especially with two young ones in the car.

Freeze Yer Buns Update

The heat has been off at least 4 hours each day. I have been diligent about turning it off when we will be gone for more than 3 hours. I am not sure if this will be a good idea when it gets really, really cold, but for now it works!
The maximum temp is holding steady at 65.
Nights are at 62. We will be moving down to 61 in December and 60 for the remainder.
Layering is a good thing.
Cleaning is actually a good thing when it's cold because it gets me moving. (This one is still in the theoretical stage.)
The kids have flannel sheets on their beds. I am working on getting some for our bed. I would also like to get (eventually) flannel duvet covers. Our down comforters are really toasty, but they take a while to warm up.

ABCs of Me

A--my middle name has 3 of these
B--L would not be caught without at least one ball in his bed each night
C--Charlotte's Web is one of my favorite books.
D--I have never had a dog.
E--For the past 3 months, the only eggs I've bought have been from within 20 miles of home
F--I took my first solo cross-country flight (from NJ to CA) before I was 10
G--I am enjoying my journey toward a more green lifestyle
H--I lived in Houston from 5-9th grades
I--We lived in Evanston, Illinois for 4 years.
J--Motherhood is an extremely challenging and exciting journey.
K--I walked from Ohio to Kentucky across the Ohio River.
L--I can't wait to become a librarian.
M--Go Blue!
N--R thinks my 2-3 hours naps are too long to be considered naps.
O--Oreos were L's first cookie.
P--My life never had so much pink and purple until M turned 3 and decided those were her favorite colors.
Q--I really, really, really want to learn to quilt.
R--Running a marathon is a goal of mine.
S--Second graders have too much energy.
T--That makes them really fun to teach
U--I believed unicorns were real for a very, very long time.
V--R and I were vegetarian for 7 years.
W--My wedding took place 11 years ago.
X--Next semester I will beable to explain XML.
Y--I have been unable to get into yoga.
Z--My family likes going to the zoo.

A Trip to the Farm

Our afternoon trip to the farm was amazing. It was drizzly, cold, and dreary, but the kids' wonder, amazement, and curiosity made it feel warm and bright. We saw a calf, piglets who were cuter than anything (I can totally relate to Fern from Charlotte's Web. Those pigs are just too darn cute to be put down.), a turkey who had lots to say about his friends' upcoming fate, a mama goat and her quadruplets, and another mama goat and her twins. We got to help load the animals into their pens for lunch. We also got to ask the farmer lots of questions about the animals' lives on and off the farm.

The kids and I went with friends—one for each of us. The kids all play really well together, so the moms get to have lots of good conversations. This was one of those trips I never would have attempted on my own. It was cold and rainy and the place was deserted. L, M, and I would have been ready to go within minutes.

I am so happy to be able to give my kids these kinds of experiences. When we walked into the chicken coop, the first thing out of M's mouth was, "Thanks for the eggs, chickens." She has already made the real connection that eggs come from chickens, something I didn't think about until recently. Since we are not raising them vegetarian, I want them to get to know animals and make the connection between the way they are raised and their suitableness as dinner. I hope by exposing them to farms regularly, talking about where our food comes from (remember picking those blueberries this summer?), and being committed to living a more local, nature centered life (including when the weather is less than perfect) will give them a foundation for low-impact living.

connecting the dots of my brain (Not!)

• I prevailed against my demons and cooked dinner, even though it was the last thing I really wanted to do.
• The dinner is completely LOCAL (within 20 miles). We are having meatballs, smashed potatoes, and collard greens. Even the butter and eggs are local.
• I am cold. The heating challenge has just begun and I have a lot of adapting to do.
• I have been religious about turning off the heat when we leave for longer than 2 hours.
• We went to L’s basketball practice as a family tonight. I walked on the treadmill for 45 minutes.
• New plan—10 days of pushups = 1 song from iTunes. I have recently rediscovered the nurturing power of music to my soul and this is a good way to gain some much needed strength while earning additional songs for my collection. This is the beginning of the snowball effect—the more songs I have, the more I am going to want to go out and walk, the more I will want to do pushups, the stronger I will be, the more satisfying my walks will be. Go ME!

holidays, consumerism, and kids

The Sunday paper brought with it some very unwelcome companions today: the Target and Meijer toy preview magazines. These glossy, attractive mini-catalogs were very popular at the breakfast table. The kids read and reread them, talking about what they wanted. It was very hard for me to acknowledge their excitement without a)buying into it and encouraging it or b) putting a huge damper on it by talking about the social and environmental ills associated with most holiday consumption.

Now that the season is upon us, I am going to have to work these issues into our conversations. I want them to understand why I don't want to spend money on cheap (and not so cheap) plastic toys. I want them to make the connection between their consumption and someone else's labor. I also want them to make the connection between their consumption and the environment. What happens to the packaging? Howdo the toys get here from China? What resources are being used to make the toys? The folks over at New American Dream have some good tips and resources to get me started.

I am working hard at trying to make Christmas more experience-based and less toy-based, but that is going to take lots of time and energy on my part. We have to develop ways to lessen the short-term thrill of opening a ton of presents on Christmas day. Instead, I want to focus on having adventures and doing activities that will make long-term memories.

Another component of this is making the holidays a process. Decorating the house and tree are events in and of themselves; I need to treat them that way by involving R and the kids.

I would love to create photo books for the kids of our vacations and other special things in their lives for Christmas. I don't know if I will get to it this year, but that is definitely something they would love, and it would fall right in line with my values. It will also encourage me to use the wonderful new camera R bought. ;)

being in the moment

I just had lovely evening with M. We went swimming at the Y, had dinner at Panera, and took a quick tour through the Salvation Army, where I found her Christmas present. Of course, she now knows about it because she was with me, but this will be the one from her parents and I'm going to make it fancy so it's all good.
Her swimming is coming along really well. The only thing holding me back from encouraging it is the damage it inflicts on her hair/scalp. I don't have the energy/time to redo her hair everytime we swim. I know that's a pathetic reason, but if she really ends up choosing swimming as her activity I will totally support her. Obviously.
Anyway, back to the pool. I followed her lead--played her games, let her decide what tricks to show me, swam/sit where she told me. When she finally said, "I'm ready to go." I didn't question her to make sure, I just swam out of the pool.

One of the main messages I'm getting from my reading of Pema Chodron is to minimize and not reinforce the negative behaviors/thoughts/ways of being while reinforcing the positive ones I am striving for. Being with my kids in mindful, meaningful ways is a behavior I want to nurture.

Project Garage--Day 2

This job can best be done in chunks. I spent 20 minutes today cleaning and loading the car. I made some noticeable progress. I am going to need R's help to load the big piece of furniture into the van so I can take it to the reuse center. It's a great feeling to see progress after only 20 minutes.
For the first time ever, our curbside trash can will not close. I am both proud and embarrassed of this fact. First, I am proud because it means I am detaching from my possessions and willing to only keep that which is meaningful. But, I am embarrassed because we had so much stuff to begin with and because we did not take good enough care of it to let someone else use it.

garage--before

Organization Day 1—reflection, planning, and pictures

1. What do I want the purpose of my room or area to be?

Storage—bikes, car, toys, lawn and yard equipment
Pantry—additional space for kitchen supplies

2. What do I need in or near the room to serve that purpose?

Shelving
Hooks
Bins

3. What can I remove from the room?

Items we no longer use—double jogger, furniture, toys, duplicates
Items we can store elsewhere
items that need to be put together to be used elsewhere

4. What problems do I see with the room?

Not enough places for things to go off the floor
storage tools are inadequate

5. What organizational tools might solve those problems?

See #2

6. What habits need to change to solve the organizational problems?

Putting things away when done
Not buying more than I can comfortably store in the space available
Using what I have before buying more
Timely removal of recyclables, returnables, and items for donation

7. What kind of a budget do I have to create the organized room of my dreams?

$200

8. What kind of a timeline is necessary to organize the room?

This needs to be done this month because the weather is getting colder.

9. What is my plan of action?

a. take first batch of items to be donated
b. sort toys with the kids
c. take second batch of items to be donated
d. make bins for donation
z. purchase new items and complete organization (I want the purchasing to come last because I cannot buy my way out of this problem.)

jumping in headfirst

wow! this fall y'all giveaway is leading me to all sorts of new and exciting things.
This one is HUGE for me. I am going to tackle the garage. I would like to be able to park at least one car in there this Winter. I would also like to be able to keep the door open for longer than 5 minutes without feeling embarrassed. This is the final month to get it done, because there is likely to be snow before it's over.

I will take and post pictures on Thursday.

bloom where you are planted

I LOVE where I live.
I can...
drop my daughter off at dance class and walk through the arboretum to sit by the river
buy locally grown eggs at 3 stores and the farmer's market
walk to 4 thrift and reuse stores
make connections with strangers about people we know in common

trying to win a free dyson

I am entered in this contest over at The Domestic Diva
http://thedomesticdiva.org/blog/2007/10/21/contest-dyson-pink-vaccuum/

I hope all of my imaginary readers go enter and support the contest and Dyson.
I have heard wonderful things about the Dyson vacuum.

A Post A Day Keeps the Blues Away

I am going to participate in NaBloPoMo this year. I need some motivation to write. I have all these posts in my head, but I can't write them down. Instead, I have been posting lists and incomplete thoughts.

Finally on the same page

R. and I had a calm, productive conversation this morning about the state of our house. We are both frustrated. There was no yelling, blaming, or lamenting that we don't have time or money to keep our house. Instead, we both acknowledged that we do in fact have the time; we have just not been spending our time doing it. We I finally admitted that it is not money or the need for organizing equipment that is keeping our house in this state. It is the people who live here. It doesn't cost anything to put my shoes on the shelf in my closet. It doesn't cost anything for the kids to keep their clean clothes off the floor so we don't spend 20 minutes washing, hanging, and folding clean clothes when we do laundry. It doesn't cost money to use the items in our pantry before buying more, which will save money, time (additional trips to the store), and space. Right now we have the space we have, we are not expanding the space, so we need to live peacefully within our means.

One of our biggest frustrations is that the hour or two we have allotted for cleaning daily involves so much back-work that we don't get to the projects that will actually improve our house. For example, instead of just being able to sweep the floors, first we have to clear out the shoes, toys, and books that were not put away. This takes 15 minutes that could be used to clean out the closet or the top of the refrigerator. We also realize that we have a pattern of one person checking out while the other cleans. If we both cleaned at the same time, we would get twice as much done. Instead, we end up doing the work of one person not two, which explains a lot. There is also the problem of the kids—we need to get them involved. Once R. and I get in a routine, we will begin helping the kids. First, however, we need to do the work ourselves.

What am I doing right?

I am feeling down today. So, to cheer myself up I am going to list what I am doing that's good.

1. I have drastically reduced my dryer use. I would guess I use the dryer once for every 8 loads.
   
2. We have eaten out about 50% less over the past two weeks.
   
3. I have gone to the farmer's market each week for the past 4-6 weeks.
   
4. Turn off the TV/cable at the switch at night and during the day.
   
5. Packing L's lunch on schedule.
   
6. Emptied my closet of all unwearable clothes.
   
7. Bought food from local stores
   
8. Did not buy coffee out, even though I really, really wanted it. The tea I had instead was wonderful!)
   
9. Wrote my case study which is not due until Nov. 14
   

Crunchy Chicken’s New Challenge

I have committed to 65 during the day and 60 at night.

I am also committed to using other sources of heat when possible. This means:

• Working at the library or coffee shop that already has the heat and not coming home when M is at preschool.
  
• Using the fireplace more and encouraging the kids to play/read in the family room.
  
• Showering at the Y after activities, so we don't have to use the space heater or heat lamp.
  

This will be a difficult challenge to sustain, but I have already taken one first step to help. I bought a small quilt from Salvation Army that works perfectly as a window quilt in M's room.

Other things I need to do:

• Buy thermal underwear, slippers, and warm pajamas for everyone.
  
• Find and use flannel sheets (buy if necessary).
  
• Learn to start a fire in the fireplace.
  
• Cover/insulate the windows, especially those in the bedrooms.

reflection

I’ve had a mixed week. I only made it to Step once, but I rode my bike to help with reading workshop. I didn’t do school work each night, but I did start a paper early. I didn’t cook or clean well, but I did go for a walk with a friend.
I have spent time reflecting and pondering who I am, who I want to be, and how to get there. I feel good about the path I am on—it is the path of consciousness. I am not working to change my habits or diet or create an extensive exercise plan. On the contrary, I am simply becoming aware of my life and the ways in which I spend my time. I am making myself conscious of my actions in relation to my goals. If I watch a Lifetime movie instead of working, it is going to be because I consciously decided to do so. When I eat dessert, it is going to be a conscious choice.
I need to increase my awareness of my life and the world around me. One of the reasons I am unhappily back in school is because I was not aware of the essence of the feelings and desires I had; all I knew was that I felt fulfilled when I was in school. I did not take the time to get to know what they were. Had I done that, I would have been able to look at my life and find opportunities for me to have those same feelings and desires. I would have seen how I what I am already doing can fulfill the needs I wanted school to fulfill. I would have spent more time looking at what I truly want to do/be in the world, and made choices based on a more accurate picture of myself, not the outdated one associated with my academic career.