Tuesday, March 27, 2007


what does it mean to drop a friendship because the other person is acting in ways that you don't approve of? how can one remain friends yet be true to one's own values and beliefs. on the one hand, it is not my life that you directly are affecting and even if so, you have to do what's best for you. on the other hand, you are the company you keep. aren't you?
what does it mean for the solidity of a friendship when you have seen two of this person's close friendships dissolve because the friends did not behave in a way she deemed appropriate, and their choices led them to a lifestyle and reality that's different from hers? how safe should i feel in this friendship? is this a friendship that will sustain me through a difficult time, or is it at the mercy of this person's whims? do i want a friendship with someone who can throw away a friendship like that? i know that i do not have the best track record when it comes to friendships, but i think i am able to take each of my friends where they are and be their friend regardless. we all do things others don't/won't approve of, but aren't friends supposed to be there for us in spite of/because of our faults.

I am struggling because i like this person and feel she has good energy overall, but the way she is treating my friend ( who used be our friend) is giving me reason for concern. I feel a need to pull away from this person because i don't like her actions, but that feels quite hypocritical. Shouldn't I be able to be her friend despite her faults? a difference is, i guess, is that her faults can/will have a direct impact on our friendship while my other friend's shortcomings and choices do not really impact me at all. (except for the fact that she moved.) I am not sure what to do and how to do it. I am really torn.

No comments: